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April 23, 2012
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Remnant

Mon Apr 23, 2012, 6:39 PM
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Washed up a remnant,
a relic of abandoned epochs,
she inhales her first breath in an aeon.

Air thick with soot,
pungent with poison,
sinuous hands fly to her throat
as she sputters a curse
in a language long forgotten.

Beneath the slick surface of her murky realm
lost, she wandered on,
searched through centuries for a land
half-remembered in dreams.

Time and toxins took their toll
and when she arose from the depths
her scales shone bright with mercury,
glinting silver in the moonlight.

With trembling fingers
she combs starlight from her tresses,
brushes moonbeams from her curves,
counting lesions to her body,
carved by knowledge, knives
or nothing. She no longer knows.

She shivers in the shadow of 
impossible structures,
their quivering reflections rippling
across the magic mirror 
from which she surfaced.
In the dark their glass eyes gleam,
a thousand starry-eyed monstrosities,
rake their gaze across her form.

She clings to the shoreline,
jagged rocks and filthy sand.
Another breath laced with smoke
and she feels herself fall.

"This land is not the one I have dreamed of," 
she reasons. "I will find my way back to it one day."

A lullaby of cities screaming sings her to sleep,
and like a marble image of long-lost beauty
she graces the land like a Goddess,
forever marking the place with her presence.

A discarded star slips unnoticed from her brow,
shimmers like a promise against the tainted shore,
before she sinks beneath the waves,
to upon waking, resume her search, once more.

Child of nature by any-s-kill



Written for :iconlit-visual-alliance: based upon:

Entered into Theme 2 of *Missvirginia's contest.

I love that image so much. Please go look at it because the poem will make a lot more sense with the image to go with it. What I wrote may not be what the artist had in mind when she created the image, but it is what I saw in the image.

Narrative free-verse. Haven't tried that yet. Also haven't really tried to interpret a visual image like this before. How did I do? Please give me your thoughts. Flow, word choice, favorite and least favorite parts, etc.

Thanks for reading. :heart:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcontradictory55:
It is rather well written, the flow is good, and I love your vocabulary. She's a remnant of myths, right? It's a really interesting perspective you've written from, like she could be a metaphor for every myth and legend, every fairy tale that modern times is killing off with disbelief and a tendency not to care about nature, to hurt it. Actually, she could also be a metaphor for nature too^^ I think you've described the picture wonderfully, because in the image, the city is distorted, like a nightmare, and she's the dreamer. For some reason, my least favorite part is when 'she combs starlight from her tresses, brushes moonbeams from her curves', I don't know, I feel like it's kind of making it over the top rather than wonderful if that makes sense. The rest of it, I can't choose a favorite part =D
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:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
If ever a poem possessed amazing imagery - it is this piece. Without even knowing and/or seeing the painting that you based the piece on, I had already imagined an image that was not only surreal but eerily beautiful. I would love to read a book about this woman who is on her endless search... the fact that I want more after reading a poem is an accomplishment in itself. Amazing writing, dearie. :love:
Reply
:iconladyofgaerdon:
LadyofGaerdon Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Professional Writer
Oh gosh - thank you so much. Writing a book about a lost mythological creature and her endless search sounds appealing...perhaps I will one day.
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
If you ever do... certainly let me know. :paranoid:
Reply
:iconladyofgaerdon:
LadyofGaerdon Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Professional Writer
I shall. :salute:
Reply
:iconevlydia:
Evlydia Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Student General Artist
I'm normally exahusted this late at night but for some reason I'm not. Also weird stuff happened last night which I will want to talk to you about. :paranoid: Any way, I feel like have a comment spree. :la: I'm so behind in reading your work. :faint: I also don't remember if I responded to this one and since I don't see a comment, I might as well.

First off, what's an aeon? I looked it up and there were a couple definitions. I'm guessing in this context you mean an eternity which was one of the definitons. You and your vocabulary. :no: Where do you learn it all? I guess having an english teacher for a mom helps...

When I got to "she feels herself fall" I was very confused because the line was partially cut off and the bar to scroll down only appears when you move over the skin. :slow:

Over all I liked this. I had no idea till the end that it was a mermaid which I'm guessing was intentional on your part...or I'm very slow tonight. Not sure which just yet. Although you did put in very good imagery. The second stanza really set the scene. At times the poem seemed a bit like prosetry because it doesn't have a set rythm. However the proestry feeling reminds me of the epic poems I have to read in english class like beowulf.

My comment spree is at an end....It's a really off time for me when a comment spree amounts to only one comment. :sleep: Maybe I'll get to the rest tomorrow.
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012  Student Writer
This is a beautiful piece of poetry :D
Reply
:iconladyofgaerdon:
LadyofGaerdon Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you so much! :)
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome ;D
Reply
:iconmind-of-theo:
Mind-Of-Theo Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2012
Wow, that was an amazing read. In terms of flow, it was excellent. At no point during my read was I taken out of the experience, and it was easy enough for me to visualize what I was reading. What you wrote, and what I see in the image though, don't exactly match word for word, but you already said this was your take on the image, so that's cool. Overall, I loved it!
Reply
:iconladyofgaerdon:
LadyofGaerdon Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you so much! I think it's absolutely fine that you saw something different in the image than I did - art is all about interpretation. :)
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