literature

Remnant

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Literature Text

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Washed up a remnant,
a relic of abandoned epochs,
she inhales her first breath in an aeon.

Air thick with soot,
pungent with poison,
sinuous hands fly to her throat
as she sputters a curse
in a language long forgotten.

Beneath the slick surface of her murky realm
lost, she wandered on,
searched through centuries for a land
half-remembered in dreams.

Time and toxins took their toll
and when she arose from the depths
her scales shone bright with mercury,
glinting silver in the moonlight.

With trembling fingers
she combs starlight from her tresses,
brushes moonbeams from her curves,
counting lesions to her body,
carved by knowledge, knives
or nothing. She no longer knows.

She shivers in the shadow of 
impossible structures,
their quivering reflections rippling
across the magic mirror 
from which she surfaced.
In the dark their glass eyes gleam,
a thousand starry-eyed monstrosities,
rake their gaze across her form.

She clings to the shoreline,
jagged rocks and filthy sand.
Another breath laced with smoke
and she feels herself fall.

"This land is not the one I have dreamed of," 
she reasons. "I will find my way back to it one day."

A lullaby of cities screaming sings her to sleep,
and like a marble image of long-lost beauty
she graces the land like a Goddess,
forever marking the place with her presence.

A discarded star slips unnoticed from her brow,
shimmers like a promise against the tainted shore,
before she sinks beneath the waves,
to upon waking, resume her search, once more.




Written for :iconlit-visual-alliance: based upon:

Entered into Theme 2 of *Missvirginia's contest.

I love that image so much. Please go look at it because the poem will make a lot more sense with the image to go with it. What I wrote may not be what the artist had in mind when she created the image, but it is what I saw in the image.

Narrative free-verse. Haven't tried that yet. Also haven't really tried to interpret a visual image like this before. How did I do? Please give me your thoughts. Flow, word choice, favorite and least favorite parts, etc.

Thanks for reading. :heart:
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Contradictory55's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

It is rather well written, the flow is good, and I love your vocabulary. She's a remnant of myths, right? It's a really interesting perspective you've written from, like she could be a metaphor for every myth and legend, every fairy tale that modern times is killing off with disbelief and a tendency not to care about nature, to hurt it. Actually, she could also be a metaphor for nature too^^ I think you've described the picture wonderfully, because in the image, the city is distorted, like a nightmare, and she's the dreamer. For some reason, my least favorite part is when 'she combs starlight from her tresses, brushes moonbeams from her curves', I don't know, I feel like it's kind of making it over the top rather than wonderful if that makes sense. The rest of it, I can't choose a favorite part <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="=D" title="=D (Big Grin)"/>