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Literature
Amends
They tell me you're dying,
when you're not etching poetry
into glass.
Words as fragile as the surface they're written on,
not nearly as transparent, though.
Dotted between the lines like Morse-code,
concealed in true poetic verse.
If you want to know a poet,
just fall and one will rise.
The ink flows deep within the lines,
we just have to die to find it.
I see your plead.
They tell me I should make amends,
only the forgiveness you seek
doesn't come from me.
That boy is gone,
and with him
any debt you owed.
Still if it helps ease your passing
I'll say the words.
Like writing a hot check;
it'll get you by for a minute,
but in th
Literature
The Melody
Every day we...struggle to find ourselves,
Struggle to find our faith,
Struggle with learning to live with,
Pain that has such a bitter taste
Every night we...relive the day,
The ones that came before,
Thinking about the future,
And what's in store
And...then...we
Fall asleep,
And then we dream,
Wondering just who...
We will one day be
On...our...knees...
Living with love, living with laughter,
Living every day, that's all that matters!
On...our...knees...
If we open our hearts, then we will see,
The rhythm of our lives, the melody
Every day we...reach out our hands,
To someone who is in need of it,
Someone who is a puzzl
Literature
I hope you are reading this
the person I love loves music much too much
and the person I love loves that I love the quiet and easy days
loves that I like to stay up late (or early) till the birds sing of morning and
the person I love loves that I love to hold hands and hold a body but only when I know them fully
and the person I love loves listening to my songs and listening to my voice and to my poetry and stories
the person I love has songs to share too and a voice that melts my heart and words that mold it back into something nostalgia old and inspired new
and the person I love loves to look around and take it in once in a while and wonders why we can’t just r
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For the Fists, Flowers, Fire contest.
This is way different for me. It's really short, fairly abstract and was written much more quickly than my usual. That's not to say I didn't put effort into it, because I did. It was just - different.
Yes, this can be interpreted as being about my main character Violet speaking to her love Raven
Opinions and thoughts desired. All comments will be replied to, even if they are not replied to quickly. Thanks for reading!
This is way different for me. It's really short, fairly abstract and was written much more quickly than my usual. That's not to say I didn't put effort into it, because I did. It was just - different.
Yes, this can be interpreted as being about my main character Violet speaking to her love Raven
Opinions and thoughts desired. All comments will be replied to, even if they are not replied to quickly. Thanks for reading!
Comments52
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Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
This was a very nice feeling! The emotions of affection and romance were developed excellently. The pacing of the poem developed the situation you were telling about extremely well, especially considering the length limits you worked with. Your choice of words helped things flow very well from stanza to stanza.
The flow of the piece and overall composition was also quite impressive. The gradual change from apprehensiveness to wanting to bloom and burn for the other person was handled very well. The themes of flowers and fire were particularly well combined here; they were woven together quite seamlessly.
Keep up the great work! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/l/l…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="La la la la"/>