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Literature
Amends
They tell me you're dying,
when you're not etching poetry
into glass.
Words as fragile as the surface they're written on,
not nearly as transparent, though.
Dotted between the lines like Morse-code,
concealed in true poetic verse.
If you want to know a poet,
just fall and one will rise.
The ink flows deep within the lines,
we just have to die to find it.
I see your plead.
They tell me I should make amends,
only the forgiveness you seek
doesn't come from me.
That boy is gone,
and with him
any debt you owed.
Still if it helps ease your passing
I'll say the words.
Like writing a hot check;
it'll get you by for a minute,
but in th
Literature
Every second away
Every moment I'm away
feels like I'm a breath
away from certain death
Your essence I lap up
like the desert laps up
the falling rain
longing to be whole
I stare into your eyes
a parched soul
Memories of your touch
linger in my psyche
teasing and tantalizing
Calling on all my strength
to control shuddered urges
to beg for more
Every second an eternity
of longing and daydreaming
for the next time we may touch
Your voice stirs in me
imaginings that have lain
silently biding their time
Like a cat waits to pounce
I ache, every nerve on end
stirring at the thought of you
As time moves slowly by
I long to soar to you
to
Literature
comatose.
i never told you:
i hated the way you smelled
like winter, like
fog or listerine or
something long forgotten.
i guess i miss you the way
i miss brooklyn,
all thirsty for a song
i've never heard, pining for
a place i've never been.
homesick.
--
i never told you:
i keep your old promises all tucked up inside,
like bruises sleeping fallow
along my hipbones.
i promise i'll love you always, i promise
i'll fix the coffee machine tomorrow,
and if you let me,
i'll fix you
well, you never were a fixer.
what you are is tired, and you never understood
why this fucked-up little town
unmade its bed, swallowed an
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For the Fists, Flowers, Fire contest.
This is way different for me. It's really short, fairly abstract and was written much more quickly than my usual. That's not to say I didn't put effort into it, because I did. It was just - different.
Yes, this can be interpreted as being about my main character Violet speaking to her love Raven
Opinions and thoughts desired. All comments will be replied to, even if they are not replied to quickly. Thanks for reading!
This is way different for me. It's really short, fairly abstract and was written much more quickly than my usual. That's not to say I didn't put effort into it, because I did. It was just - different.
Yes, this can be interpreted as being about my main character Violet speaking to her love Raven
Opinions and thoughts desired. All comments will be replied to, even if they are not replied to quickly. Thanks for reading!
Comments52
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Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
This was a very nice feeling! The emotions of affection and romance were developed excellently. The pacing of the poem developed the situation you were telling about extremely well, especially considering the length limits you worked with. Your choice of words helped things flow very well from stanza to stanza.
The flow of the piece and overall composition was also quite impressive. The gradual change from apprehensiveness to wanting to bloom and burn for the other person was handled very well. The themes of flowers and fire were particularly well combined here; they were woven together quite seamlessly.
Keep up the great work! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/l/l…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="La la la la"/>