literature

Passion

Deviation Actions

LadyofGaerdon's avatar
Published:
3.6K Views

Literature Text

You look me over
And you turn away
You lead my heart
Into silent decay
'Cause you want something beautiful
Want something beautiful
You want something beatiful
So you look away

Well, this I call passion
This I call real
Are you ready to see me?
Are you ready to feel?
But you don't see anything
You don't see anything
No, you don't see anything
'Cause you don't see me

You speak such wise words
But won't believe what I say
Think you've got to hold out
For some brighter day
'Cause you want something real
Want something real
You want something real
But you turn away

And, this I call passion
This I call real
Are you ready to hear me?
Are you ready to feel?
But you don't hear anything
You don't hear anything
No, you don't hear anything
'Cause you don't hear me

I carry this torch
And its burning my hands
Can you see the scars now?
Do you understand?
You think I'm not good enough
Think I'm not good enough
Well, am I not good enough
To carry these scars?

This I call passion
This I call real
Are you ready to hurt me?
Are you ready to feel?
But you don't feel anything
You don't feel anything
No, you don't feel anything
'Cause you don't feel me...
Well, this one has story behind it. It's the first song I ever wrote. I wrote it at 16. See, I'd had feelings for this guy for more than a year, but he was older than me and unattainable. Everybody knew I liked him but no one ever talked about it. Then one day I had to sit there for a hour while he went on about how he could never date a high school girl because they "have no passion". Ouch. I was pretty offended, considering by that time I'd already written a book. And I assure you, that takes passion. Miraculously I held it together until I could escape to the bathroom and cry. But then I picked myself back up, realized I was almost as angry and offended as I was hurt. So I wrote this song in retaliation. I'm grateful to him, not only because I'm now happily married to someone else after being rejected, but because he gave me the inspiration to write my first song. I'd never been able to do it before, though I'd tried. So there are no hard feelings.

Considering how depressing most of my other poems are, this one is downright upbeat. It definitely has a "you tell 'em!" girl-power kind of vibe. I kind of...um..."borrowed" the tune from "So Cold In Ireland" by the Cranberries. I know if I ever want to produce this (which I do - I think it would make a really good song) I'll need to alter the melody, but if you're interested, here's a link to an audio of "So Cold In Ireland" so that you can get the gist of how it sounds when sung. [link]

I decided to post this in response to the :iconwritten-emotion: prompt: Passion. I took it as a sign that it was time to post it up. Hope you all enjoy, and please share your thoughts! :D

Entered into the :iconunique-expression: Twisted Valentines contest, because for most of my life, Valentine's Day was filled, for me, with feelings and situations like the ones portrayed in this deviation. Great theme, guys! :clap:



IMPORTANT: I put strict requirements on all of my pieces just because I don't want them to be stolen. I do plan to publish at some point. But if you'd like to draw characters, scenes, or produce any art inspired by or incorporating my work, honestly I'd be thrilled and honored! Just send me a link! :D
Comments98
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
RTNightmare's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

Wow!

This is one out of a few pieces I can actually read without not leaving it unfinished! I applaud you for making it so interesting. The repetitiveness is a little annoying, but that's all I don't like about it. Is this the one you submitted to #GetDailyDeviations! If so, sorry I didn't read it well enough. I usually don't read literature unless it's for a fandom.

Vision: I see everything in a beautiful, yet painful way. It's very interesting and I feel as though I know it.

Originality: I have seen other things like this, so I can't exactly give the originality an +A. Sorry, I know this because I am one of the ones who has done similar.

Technique: That I'll have to give a B or so...it's not that it's bad, but the repetitiveness got to me.

Impact: I'll only take one point off. I'm usually not as moved by literature as I am now. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w…" width="15" height="15" alt=";)" title=";) (Wink)"/>

And there you have it, my critique. Hope it helps! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)"/>